I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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