I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
