New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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