He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Randomize
