you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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