Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
