Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
