He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
