our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
