I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
