Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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