Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
