An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
