wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
