he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
