if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
