Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
