hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
