3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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