I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
