This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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