I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
