dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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