I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
