I cockslap morals
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
