Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
