I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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