I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
did you just send me my own nude
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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