just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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