Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.

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(818): View more from California

he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.

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(352): View more from Florida

Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't think we should have started that trash fire

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(501): View more from Arkansas

And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"

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(845): View more from New York

You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.

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