i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
