A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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