let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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