We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
