i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
