Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
