i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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