Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
