It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
