Banned from zoo.
Again?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
