Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
