Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
