you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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