Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
