I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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