i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
