Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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