His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
