Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
