i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
